How to Be a Good Wedding Guest

Why is this so hard?  Some people are just *horrible* wedding guests.  I think I’ve mentioned before that we had an entire empty table of people who RSVP’d yes and then didn’t show up on the day of our wedding.  I don’t even want to admit how much that empty table cost us.  (I’m actually a little bitter about this right now, because while cleaning out a drawer in the now-nursery last week, I found the place cards for those people, and it reminded me what jerks some of our family and friends are.  Why are they jerks?  Because some of them have never mentioned the fact they didn’t show up.  Rude on top of rude.  My favorite – the one who recently posted on Facebook about people who RSVP’d to his wedding and didn’t show up and how pissed he is.  KARMA!!! /endrant)

Anyway, HuffPost has a fantastic list of rules for how to be a good wedding guest.

My favorites:

  • Never add your own plus one.  Bonus tip from me: if you do add your own plus one, and the bride is kind enough to not call you up and tell you to stop being an idiot, freaking show up.  At a friend’s wedding last year, someone added his own plus one and then the friend and the unwanted plus one didn’t show to the wedding.  So not only did the couple pay for the dinner of someone they didn’t invite, but that person didn’t appear.  Oh, and no gift was ever given.  Keep it classy, folks.
  • Don’t assume kids are welcome.  Bonus tip from me: when in doubt, ask. We were recently invited to a wedding, and received the save-the-date before we were public with our pregnancy.  So I asked my friend – hey, surprise, we’re expecting, will Baby be welcome?  She said no, which was totally cool.  Don’t get your panties in a bunch because your kids aren’t invited.  Some couples don’t want to or have the ability to entertain children or provide childcare.  Or, in our particular situation, we were married in an historic bed and breakfast that didn’t allow children under 12, so it literally was out of our hands.
  • Look the part.  Bonus tip from me: WHEN IN DOUBT, ASK.  I swear, every wedding I go to (including mine), there’s that one idiot wearing jeans or a track suit.  There are few weddings where this is appropriate.  Ask your wife, ask your mom, ask your female friend, or if you absolutely must ask the couple.  You will probably get an answer like “black tie” or “evening formal” or “cocktail.”  If you don’t know what that means, you can ask for clarification, or you could, you know, use them newfangled interwebby things.
  • Mail your gift.  Bonus tip from meThese are your only options: mail the gift, or give money (cash/check/whatever).  Do NOT under any circumstance bring the freaking gift to the wedding.  You know what the couple does not want to deal with at their wedding?  A box of freaking china, or a set of pots and pans, or a freaking vacuum.  Those gifts are to be given at the shower or mailed direct to the house.  Extra bonus: write the check to ONE person, and if you write it to the bride, put her maiden name.  I didn’t change the name on my bank account until over a year after my marriage (because it’s a major PITA), and we had to open a joint account specifically because of all the checks we got written to both of us.  Yes, we were planning on opening a joint account.  But we literally did it the morning we left for our honeymoon so we could get the checks in an account before we left.  Yes, we appreciated the kind gifts.  But seriously, we just got married, my married name wasn’t on a single account anywhere.

Take a look at the HuffPost list.  What would you add?  Any funny stories of fail guests from your wedding.

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